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Stuck Somewhere Between Doing Nothing and Wanting Everything

It’s been a while… and honestly, life feels stuck — like really, really stuck. College has started, classes have started, but I haven’t. I’m not going to college, not studying, not even pretending to study like I usually do 😅. Every semester, I tell myself “This time I’ll start early”, but here I am again — just scrolling through the syllabus and calling it a productive day. The 5th semester feels like the same old movie on repeat, maybe just worse this time. My mind feels heavy — I have so much to say, so much to write, but no words come out. It’s strange how sometimes you feel everything all at once but still can’t express a single thing. I’m just lying in my room all day, music playing in the background, thoughts louder than the lyrics, and I keep asking myself, “Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha yaar…” 🥲😭


It’s been a long time since I’ve done the little things that used to make me feel alive — like clicking pictures of nature, watching the clouds move, or just traveling in a bus and noticing the world around me. Those random days when I used to wake up early, rush for college, take a shower half asleep, and still smile at the chaos — they feel so far away now. These days aren’t exactly boring, they’re just… unproductive, in the funniest way possible 😂. I mean, who am I even calling unproductive when my biggest achievement lately is changing songs before the sad part hits? 😭 Sometimes, I feel like I’m just existing in between two worlds — one where I want to do everything and another where I don’t even have the energy to start. Maybe this is what life after every semester feels like — confusion, chaos, and too much coffee. But deep down, I know one thing: this phase will pass too. I’ll get back to doing things, taking pictures, writing blogs, and maybe even going to college (hopefully 😅). But for now… I’m just here — existing, breathing, overthinking, and waiting for that spark to return again.



FUNNY ENDING PARAGRAPH:

Nothing here 🤣 just me existing like a background app.



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